We're like a lot better than the average bears
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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