Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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