I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
