Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
