Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
