Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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