Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
