things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
