You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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