We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
