This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
