Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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