dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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