You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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