We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
