i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
