yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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