Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
