She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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