i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
