But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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