I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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