is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
