Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
