I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
