how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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