i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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