"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
