he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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