There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
