I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
