you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
