what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
how drunk are you?
Several
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
