Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
