Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
