whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
