theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
