shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We got so high we made milksteak
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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