dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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