There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
