awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
