i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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