in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
