i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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