If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
