If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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