ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
