It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
did i walk over a car last night?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
