she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
cat food counts as protein by the way
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
