I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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